The Manchester Man In my twenties I sold manchester  Irish linen Quality towels  Nifty napkins I rose to become  No. 5 best salesperson In the whole of Australia -for one week The office staff Tina and Marjorie Charming and cheerful Smiled broadly Whenever I entered Upon my resignation They burst into tears So I stood in the doorway And sang loudly Don’t cry for me Marge and Tina. By way of explanation: Manchester is a word commonly used throughout Australia to describe bedding, sheets, towels, pillowslips, table linen and similar items, yet this is not the case elsewhere. In fact, the use of the word Manchester is one said to be unique to Australia. During the 18th and 19th centuries, settlers in Australia needed to import bedding and other cotton goods from overseas. In Great Britain, the Industrial Revolution was quickly turning Northern cities into productive zones. One of the cities most influenced by this up-turn in industry was M...

As a child I was told endless tale tales by adults. Tales of questionable feats and acts of daring-do. Sometimes these tales were designed to either scare me unnecessarily, or encourage some degree of modification in my behavior. I was told to watch out for elephants who enjoyed squashing badly behaved children and to be afraid of going near the creek because crocodiles lived there -when in fact nothing remotely life threatening lived in the local waterways.  I further recall being told that green jelly was made from cow's hooves and that swallowing chewing gum could kill you. It would stick to your heart and you would die! It's amazing how such nonsensical stories stay with you. Well, I'm not too sure what the inspiration for this piece of contrived nonsense actually was, apart from a desire to have a bit of fun.  You might consider some of the slightly doubtful things adults told you in order to get you to cooperate, or merely to scare you into complying with t...

A somewhat whimsical retrospective poem to mark my 2018... Goodbye Eighteen Last year I failed to win the lottery Wasn’t an award recipient And I failed to repair anything of significance Last year I forget to cull my book collection Didn’t spend a single night in Paris And didn't compete in a marathon for the first time Last year  I chose not to watch Masterchef I didn’t get around to cleaning out my office desk And I failed to snap any selfies at famous landmarks Last Year I didn't eat a single snail -Nor a married one for that matter And yet again, I failed to find any joy in Trump's tweets Last year I still refused to like cats Or anchovies Or cats who like anchovies Last year Was similar to the year before This year shapes up as being the same