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Dodoitsu Poems -Short, With A Twist

The Dodoitsu, is a Japanese poetic form that doesn't have meter or rhyme constraints but they do have syllable constraints (like many Japanese forms).

This 4-line poem has seven syllables in the first three lines and five syllables in the fourth--and final--line. 

The Dodoitsu often focuses on love or work with a comical twist. I have featured these poems previously, but I found them seeking more time in the limelight...





I am standing at the corner
Watching the traffic stream by
Willing the red light to change
-Any green will do.

Alan j Wright










Love is a like a red red rose
Tangled like a garden hose
Flowers help to smooth the rough
-But diamonds sparkle. 

Alan j Wright


It is Poetry Friday and our host this time is Tanita S Davis at 'Fiction Instead Of Lies' . Tanita shares news about a July writing challenge involving 'Sedoka' a short form of poetry that follows syllabic rules. 

Comments

  1. Wonderful! Just one word in each poem adds the dash of humor--which makes these shine. "Any" and "hose." A gentle touch---but so much meaning. Bravo!

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    1. With short forms of poetry, words carry extra weight. Thank you for yet another valued observation, Linda.

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  2. HAH, any green will do, indeed. I think I have lived that first poem more often than not. I also appreciate the idea of love, 'tangled like a garden hose.' That's offbeat and lovely! Thanks for coming out to play on Poetry Friday!

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    1. Play, indeed. Such good fun for a poet. Both playful and precise. Thanks Tanita. I tried numerous times to respond to your post, but alas, I was continually rebuked by the machine. Just to let you know I enjoyed the sedoka, a poetry form I am unfamiliar with, but intend to spend some time with in the coming week. Thanks for the introduction.

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  3. These are fun Alan, I really like your "Tangled like a garden hose" in the love poem, and the sparkling diamond at the end! Wishing you many green lights, thanks!

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    1. Thanks, Michelle. And thank you for your green light message.

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  4. Alan, you are such a resource for poetic forms. Thank you -- "Any green will do " --has made me smile tonight.

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    1. Thank you, Patricia. I do enjoy freely roaming the poetic terrain in search of treasures to share with others. Keep smiling...

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  5. Mission accomplished -- the twist at the end of these poems made me smile! I hope you'll join us next month for another count-the-syllables challenge!

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    1. Thanks, Mary Lee. Syllable challenge sounds inviting.

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  6. Ah, such nice twists in each of these, Alan. I look forward to playing with this form.

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    1. Thank you, Karen. Enjoy some dodoitsu dabbling...

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  7. Alan, I always love reading your blogs because they offer such of variety of poetic goodness. Love is like a red rose...This poem's word choice makes it enjoyable to read.

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    1. Thank you for your generous remarks, Carol, much appreciated. Such affirming remarks serve to make one continue to strive.

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