Cereal Killer- A Rant Poem

I have been having so much fun lately exploring rant

poetry. Poets have long written about the things that vex

(annoy) them. The practice of ranting in poetic verse

dates back to Ancient Greece, Rant poetry has flourished 

through time.Rant poetry comes in all shapes and sizes,

but it is most commonly defined as a free-verse poem

written about an exasperating subject. They can be about

any thing that aggravates, pesters, or otherwise drives

you crazy. This  poem is based on a frustration that 

began in my childhood and persists to this very day.

Cereal Killer

Alan j Wright

It’s Saturday morning

I’m awake

And therefore I’m hungry

I shuffle to the pantry

I stare

The shelf is bare

There’s nothing there

I’m old Mother Hubbard

Once more at the cupboard

I have a bowl

A spoon

Milk

And there’s not a sign of Wheat Bix

No packet

No crumb

I’m crestfallen, glum

Somewhere out there

Lurks a cereal killer

I’m ravenous

My stomach, cavernous

I’m starvin’ Marvin

This is immense

It has me intense

It’s a big deal

Earth shattering

…well, maybe not earth shattering

But it’s enough to set me on fire

It raises my ire

I begin to perspire

I’m miffed

I’ve been stiffed

My world’s coming adrift

Make yourself some toast says Dad

Have an egg instead says Mum

Suffer, hisses my sister the snake

Make some porridge

Suggests dear old Nan…

Porridge?

It’s summertime

Surely I would melt

Dad flops a brick as he calls it

On the table

Ride to the shop

And buy some more

No big deal my boy

I just fume

I’m desperate

So, I’m off on my bike

An angry, anxious pedaler

Half way there

I realize something really important

-I’m still wearing my pyjamas

I keep pedalling

On a mission

To the Milk bar at the corner

Breakfast cereal or break

Mr. Nguyen

Mr. Nguyen

Have you got a packet of Wheat Bix?

Sorry says Mr. Nguyen

I’m all out of Wheat Bix

Do you want Rice Pops instead?

I could scream

I could cry

And yell at the sky

I just want my Wheat Bix

I just want my Wheat Bix

I just want…

Mr. Nguyen says try the supermarket

Pedal, pedal, pedal

To the supermarket

Hot bothered and famished

I race down the cereal aisle

And snatch a super-size pack

Of the one and only

WHEAT BIX, yeah!

Breakfast, here I come…

Pedal, pedal, pedal

Back home

Dad’s got his hand out

Waiting for the change

I’m hollow

I’m empty

I’m dog hungry starving

It’s time to chow down

Breakfast at last!

Munching and crunching

No time for talking

Cereal killers

You will never beat me