Life of Leon And Line Breaks

They say it is the line and where it is broken that provides the rhythm of a poem. The longer the line, the more the poem sounds like natural speech. Poets break lines for different reasons. Here are some:

according to their natural breathing
to emphasize a particular or words
to create tension
to change the pace of the poem

The original version of this poem had longer lines and fewer line breaks. I was not completely happy with the outcome. It sounded a bit slow and pedestrian. The theme of my poem is not relaxed along with the focus of the writing, Leon. This made for a mismatch.

In revising the poem, I needed to build more tension and increase the pace for the reader. So, you will notice my poem has quite short lines throughout the entire poem. I did this to create a greater sense of urgency around Leon's story. The poem is loosely based on a childhood memory of a kid I used to know. All our writing is informed by our lives, if we are open to these influences. Writing is just as much about the mud as it is about the flowers.

The Life of Leon

He’s a tough guy, Leon

Attitude locked

Fire in his eyes

Braved hard knocks

Leon’s a cracker

Eyebrow scarred

Dynamite hands

A heart flint hard

On the street

Where dangers lurk

Another kid

Whose dreams don’t work

Here comes Leon

Better scurry

Bamma-lamma

In a hurry

Angry kid

Unwashed hair

Look away

From his mad dog stare

Out of home

On the street

Never quite sure

What’s he got to eat

Struts about

With the craggy crew

Cigarettes

High top shoes

Leon’s coming

Rats all scurry

Bamma–lamma

Better hurry

Slaps away

Any helping hand

Zero trust

Anger fanned

He’s got swagger

He’s got sneer

Built a wall around

Inner fears

Violent father

Boozy Mum

Winter nights

Sleep won’t come

There goes Leon

Twelve years old

Bamma-lamma

Fortune’s told

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