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Secrets and Unsettled Sleep Poem

 This poetry presentation is all about keeping secrets with siblings, or  rather the inherent folly of such agreements. 

My poem is loosely based on childhood experiences.  It is also about form and structure. 

 I have consciously off set the couplets to symbolize the unsettling sleep experiences that frequently arise around such matters.  








Unsettled Sleep

As I stumbled through the forest dark

A green witch grabbed my hand

 

I raced upon an open plain


Through soft and shifting sand

 

I stood upon a craggy bluff


While the wind began to scream

 

Then I awoke in tangled sheets


From this disturbing dream

 

I think I know the reason

I got wrapped up in this twister

 

I’m concerned about a secret shared

With my loose-lipped little sister.


Alan j Wright.



Poetry Friday has rolled around again and our host this time is Jane Whittingham. Jane delivers an ode to the chaos that frequently surrounds family scheduling.
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Comments

  1. Anonymous1 August 2025 at 23:28

    Alan: I can relate, if you'll excuse the pun. In my case it's an older sister. In either case, I enjoyed your poem. The offset couplets offered excellent dimension.

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    1. Alan j Wright2 August 2025 at 10:45

      Thank you for your kind remarks. Experience runs deep in family relationships.

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  2. Tabatha2 August 2025 at 09:18

    Nice twist! I don't have siblings, but anyone who has told a secret ill-advisedly can relate!

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    1. Alan j Wright2 August 2025 at 10:46

      Thank you, Tabatha. Glad you found a connection.

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  3. Michelle Kogan2 August 2025 at 15:07

    Captivating visuals Alan, and I love the screaming wind too, thanks!

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    1. Alan j Wright2 August 2025 at 15:09

      Thanks, Michelle. It was fun to write this poem.

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  4. Linda Mitchell2 August 2025 at 21:13

    Ha! Oh, those little sisters--they can be such loose cannons. What a great suspense building poem. Well done!

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    1. Alan j Wright3 August 2025 at 09:55

      Little sisters-indeed, Linda. Thanks for the feedback. Suspense in this case was a plus.

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  5. Patricia Franz3 August 2025 at 00:24

    You intertwined both form and subject well with the offsetting—and the end-humor, Alan.

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    1. Alan j Wright3 August 2025 at 10:00

      Thank you kindly, Patricia. Structure and subject supporting each other was essential here, no doubt about that.

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  6. Karen Edmisten 3 August 2025 at 10:15

    Ha, there are some things that every family can relate to. :)

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    1. Alan j Wright3 August 2025 at 11:44

      You're quite right, Karen. There is certainly a universal theme in this.

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  7. Mary Lee3 August 2025 at 21:55

    I love how you brought the poem around from spooky to funny!

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    1. Alan j Wright4 August 2025 at 10:47

      Thanks for this Mary Lee. An astute observation regarding the word journey. Spooky to funny works for me...

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